Seeking Empowerment

Our lives
begin to end when
we become silent
about things that
really matter.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


It can be painful and scary to accept the reality of divorce. Many wish to turn back time or decide to do whatever they can to keep the marriage from ending. Bargaining occurs when an individual anticipates a great loss. It is a common desperate measure usually aimed to keep the marriage intact and to minimize the possibility of divorce. Bargaining can also occur through replaying everything that went wrong in the marriage and letting one’s mind overthink different “What if?” questions and scenarios.

There are many reasons why a person bargains during the demise of a marriage. Aside from wanting to keep the long-term relationship together, some want to avoid the loneliness and sadness that can come with divorce. Others want to circumvent all of the gossip and stigma that goes along with the end of a marriage. Additionally, individuals bargain to preserve the family unit because of the children and the desire to avoid going through the overwhelming legal and emotional aspects of divorce.

During the bargaining stage, people often allow their fears of the unknown to override the reality that ending the marriage could be the healthiest solution for both parties. It is important to recognize that getting to the bargaining stages makes you closer to accepting the dissolution of your marriage. With endings, come the possibility of beautiful beginnings.

As your personal coach, I will assist you in exploring the reasons why your relationship did not work so that you are clear about what you desire moving forward. Recognizing and owning your contribution to the end of your marriage will create the momentum you need to start the next chapter of your life.